It, as they say, is about danged time!
That’s right, after a great deal of fuss, several units of muss, and a whole lot of dust, rust, trust, and other things that almost rhyme with fuss, we (the esteemed and hallowed council of judges) have considered, pondered, perused, scanned, and in-depthedly inspected all of the multitudinous contest entries and come to a decision. Several, in fact. Now, with very little circumlocution (well, maybe a little), more periphrastic pleonasm than is strictly necessary, a great deal of ado, and maybe a yort or two of triumphant pride, we are ready to announce the winners. Which we’ll do very soon. Very soon indeed. We’re getting there, just bare with me (and bear with me).
I’m really bad at this. I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, so let’s start with a bit of the old traditional platitudes and soothing ego-strokes. First, we were presented with a great many fantastic entries. The creativity and word-wiggling aptitude exhibited by all of the contest entrants was humbling to behold. There was nothing we read that made us say, “This just sucks. Under no circumstances would we even consider publishing such derivative and uninspired tripe. In fact, I plan to pluck my eyes out in protest as soon as I’m done using them! Filth, utter filth!” That didn’t happen.
What we did receive, though, were a lot of very well thought-out and well written narratives. Most of them need a bit of editing and some work fitting them into the Low Life world, and many of them were unfinished (because I didn’t give you very much time). That’s alright, though. It’s all good.
From the various entries that we deem, in our infinite wisdom and infallably awesome literary geniusitude, publishable we have further divided them into two categories: Those that will be published in the printed book and those that will be printed in a special companion ebook and on the Mutha Oith Creations website. Of the ones we wish to publish in the printed book (I wish we could print them all, but space is at a premium), we selected our overall favorite. This person can brag about being the Grand Prize Winner and will earn a few more clams than everyone else, but this should in no way diminish nor pejorate the awesomeness of any other contribution.
The publication of unfinished work is contingent upon completion, obviously. We will work with all of the authors to ensure everything works out awesomely. We reserve the right not to publish any currently unfinished stories that don’t turn out as well as they began.
So, no more wishy-washy babbling. On to the goods (please don’t hate me if you didn’t win). The winners are in invisotext, so highlight them to read, because sneaky…
Grand Prize Uber-Awesome Snazzy Jazz Nabber
Smallish (illustrated) – Shelly Loke
Published in the Book (in no particular order)
Peppersian Letters – Yves Green
Not So Smart – Chris Longhurst
A Croach’s Quest – Mark L. Bower
Horc Hardshi (illustrated) – Shelly Loke
Fripple the Courageous Wimp – Dan Grota
Schmancy Smelf – Aubrey Minnick
Cremefillian Archer (illustration) – Brad McFee
Smelvish Smilfred (illustrated) – Shelly Loke
Published in the Book (upon awesome completion)
Two Hands and a Flashlight – William Thrasher
Billy Bodul – Pete Mckenna
Published on the Website and eBook
Motor Croach (illustrated) – Joshua D. Meadows
What is this Stuff? – Terra-Lynn Arroyo Nystrom
Aaack! – Terra-Lynn Arroyo Nystrom
Piss-Swizzling Gallmonger – Zaheera RizvonB-319 – Steven Taylor
Young Glorble – Pete McKenna
If you would like an explanation as to why your story ended up in the category it did, or what changes you could possibly make in order to move it into the other category, please email Andy at email@example.com.
What did we win?
Everyone who entered will receive 50 clams. Peeps selected for the printed book receive 100 clams, an author or artist credit in the book, a free PDF copy of the book, a physical copy of the book, 100 Oithling clams, an original drawing by me (Andy), and the right to purchase additional copies of the book at the wholesale price. The Grand Prize Winner will receive 150 clams and three copies of the book. Awesome.
So, once again, congratulations to Shelly and all our winners, and a huge thank you to everyone who took the time to share their amazing creativity with the rest of us. I remain humbled and a bit intimidated by your awesomeness.