Being of Dubious Lineage
A blade-wielding bodul said shrewdly
“I say, sir, don’t speak of me rudely.
I admit I look weird
I’ve a hand for a beard
And my mother dresses me crudely.”
The Low Down
Boduls are a people lost in parody and paradox. Of all of Mutha Oith’s species few are as universally mocked, nor as universally esteemed, as the loathsome yet mighty bodul. See, boduls are believed by many (especially themselves) to be the actual living descendants of the ancient Hoomanrace, gazillions of generations removed. Corrupted, transformed, warped, and mutated beyond any semblance of their ancestors’ majestic form or former majesty, boduls nevertheless take a measure of pride in their pedigree. Of course, not everyone believes boduls are descended from Hoomanracians, and not everyone who believes gives a poop, but such a notion has become the defining characteristic of many boduls. They are proud and spirited peeps, or at least they think they are, although at times they tend toward bouts of self loathing and despondency as they imagine the lost glory of their supposed ancestors.
To physically describe a bunch of boduls is to invite cerebral hemorrhage. Such an abundance and diversity of forms and shapes exist as to make any attempt at classification as painful and fruitless as crapping glass pineapples. Sure, they share some traits in common; a bipedal stature, long, droopy ears, and a number of hands and legs are prevalent features, although by no means representative of everyone. That’s usually where the similarities end, however. I’ve seen boduls with six arms, boduls with three noses, and boduls with upside-down faces. There are boduls with their hands on backwards, boduls with their ears inside-out, and boduls with feet where their noses should be. Some boduls have bulbous chins and others have no chins at all (some even have multiple chins or chins where chins shouldn’t be). There are boneless boduls, blistered boduls, triple-butted boduls, and boduls who glow in the dark; one-eyed boduls, two-eyed boduls, three-eyed boduls, and boduls with more eyes than a peep would be reasonably expected to count. In Floom there’s a bodul with tongues for his ears and in Torkle there’s one with four heads. Doop has a bodul who’s flat as a rug and at least three in New Oorlquar have boobs on their back. I once met a peep in Gargle Twice who has noses on his knees and a bodul I noticed in Yapple had no head at all, just a mouth and some eyes in the middle of his chest. Some boduls are hairy and others are bald, while others have hair on their tongues. Some boduls are only a yort high while others are almost a yort! Some are shy or embarrassed by their appearance while others celebrate their diversity and revel in their uniqueness. The point is, there are a lot of boduls and they all differ from each other in a great many ways.
Boduls make their own decisions and there’s not much that can be predicted about one based on past experience with another. Some are brutal and warlike while others are peaceful and passive. One might chop you in the yap just for peering his gist sideways while another might cower under a table if you cough too loudly. There have been, historically, plenty of estimable bodul warriors, among them such notables as Magnificent Munge, Beardo the Beardless, Huthu the Moidilizer, Yurston of Yapple, and Thrashtle Badaboom (known as Thrashtle Gurgeburster among the horcs of the Mudlump clan). Boduls who are into such things, tend to adopt their own unique fighting styles, preferring specially crafted weapons and armor adapted to their individual anatomies. That kind of stuff can get pretty clammy, so bodul scrappers usually adorn themselves in scraps and piecemeal until they can afford some custom jazz.
Getting Along With Others
The diversity of boduls extends to their dispositions as well. Perhaps no other group among Oith’s civilized peeps baffles generalization quite so defiantly (maybe tizn’ts, I suppose). Boduls are as multifarious in their nature as they are in their appearance. Some are wicked and vile. Others are kindly and cheerful. Some are hardworking and conscientious while others wouldn’t give a goose if they had six spare gooses to give. It’s true they tend to be a bit on the prideful side, as a consequence of their feasible lineage, but that is by no means a universal attitude. Of course, such things could be said about many of Oith’s denizens, but with boduls it rings even more true. Their individuality is special, less individual, somehow. It’s not the concentrated uniqueness of the tizn’t, whose identity is a function of its own idiosyncrasy, but something not quite personal: a collective uniqueness, if you will (or even if you won’t). Where a tizn’t might say, “I’m a tizn’t, therefore I’m unique” a bodul would be more likely to utter, “I’m a bodul and boduls are unique.”
Certain cremefillians, especially those of the Jemimah’s Witness faith, are ill-disposed toward boduls because of their Hoomanracian lineage. Other than that, boduls tend to either get along or not, depending on their own personalities.
Bodul names are as varied as bodul anatomies but, as long as we’re generalizing, many tend toward grandiose monikers to compliment their prideful personalities. Such pompous titles as Grossum the Awesome, Otho the Boss Boss, Fearsome Flognoggin, and Cuddlesmith Lovesurgeon have been known. Conversely, those boduls less certain or conceited about their lineage tend to adopt simple names, occasionally adding a descriptive eponym or epithet. Some notable peeps: Daddy Hassafrass, Boot Bunsblossom, Yerkle the Sockstitcher, [Expletive Deleted], and Goop the Guy Named Goop. The Hoomanitarian faith being popular among boduls, many of them are given names based on assorted words found on Hoomanracian relics and artifacts. For example, there’s a daddy named Internal Combustion Engine in New Oorlquar and a peep in Doop goes by the unlikely and discursive handle of Sodium Benzoate to Preserve Freshness. Of course most boduls, like peeps across the glob, are named in the custom of the culture into which they were born or the religion to which their parents adhered. However, they often choose a more personal name for themselves once they’re old enough to do so (in fitting with their strong sense of individuality).