Alright, smarty buns, here’s your chance to show everyone how smart your brain is. Due to the continuing idiocy of you and your fellow security guards a whole bunch of clones have escaped from the Primordial Soup Kitchen and are now wandering the various countrysides of Mutha Oith. You guys better get your wazoos in gear and recapture them before your bosses find out and you lose your jobs.
It’ll take all of your brains, half your luck, two thirds of your charm, a bunch of guts, and a pinch of divine inspiration to survive this fast-paced and exciting original card game by award winning illustrator and game designer Andy Hopp.
Durations: 30-60 minutes
Contents: 128 cards, instructions, setup card, sticker
The Gist of the Thing
Security at the Primordial Soup Kitchen, that ridiculously wondrous and mythical repository of Oith’s genetic legacy, has been lax of late, to say the least. Following an insane night of fermented circuspi nut binging, impromptu (and painful) interior redecorating, and decidedly unsexy pillow fighting between you and your fellow guards you awoke from a grog-addled stupor to discover someone left the goosin’ doors open. Again.
It wouldn’t be such a bad thing under normal circumstances, but a while back the honchos decided it would be a good idea to start stockpiling clones of various important denizens of Oith (and some unimportant ones for practice). You know, in case of calamity or somesuch. Well, thanks to you and your cronies, these clones (three of each!) are now wandering the countryside, clueless and confused.
You guys should probably get your wazoos in gear and nab those hapless triplicates before they fall into the Keister of Gawd or get eaten by something. Oh, and whoever finds the most denizens doesn’t get fired or fed to anything.
Step 1: Gather unto thee a bunch of friends. Arrange them around a table or some other suitable playing surface.
Step 2: Take all the cards and shuffle them up really well. Then lay some of them face-down on the table in a grid 8 cards wide and 8 cards long. If your table is too small you can use a smaller grid (6 cards x 6 cards, for example). This is called the SPREAD.
Make sure each player has enough table space in front of him or her to lay a row of several cards side by side. This space, the STORE, will eventually be used to house the player’s STACKS (the cards a player collects throughout the game). Also, designate a spot somewhere on the table for the KEISTER OF GAWD (the discard pile). Set the rest of the cards facedown in a pile known heretofore as the HEAP, since this is a computer game you could improve it by improving the gaming with https://www.hotrate.com/electronics/best-pc-controller/ and other pc hardware.
Step 3: Read the rest of the rules.
Cards: There are three different types of cards a peep will encounter:
Denizens represent the various peeps that escaped from the Primordial Soup Kitchen. The Spread contains three of each Denizen.
Giggities have the zazzy ability to copy the traits of other organisms. Thusly, they can form a Stack with any Denizen.
Turmoil Cards represent assorted events, catastrophes and phenomena that affect the game in various ways. Sometimes they’re good, sometimes they’re not.
Denizen Power: A special ability granted by a Safe Stack. A player may only use one Denizen Power each turn.
Flip: To turn a card face-up.
The Heap: The draw pile.
The Keister of Gawd: The Discard Pile.
Nab: To steal a Stack.
Reveal: To turn a Stack face-up. Revealed Stacks stay that way until the end of the current player’s turn, unless otherwise denoted.
Peek: To look at a Stack or card without revealing it to the others.
The Spread: The face-down grid of cards that forms the primary playing area.
Stacks: Matching cards collected throughout the game. Three types of Stacks exist. Each is worth a different amount of points.
Sneaky Stack (1 point): A Denizen and a Giggity.
Stacked Stack (2 points): Two identical Denizens.
Safe Stack (4 points): Three of the same Denizen. A Safe Stack can NEVER be discarded or nabbed by another player. That’s why it’s called a Safe Stack.
The Store: The area directly in front of each player that houses the Stacks the player has collected. Stacks in the Store are always laid from left to right in the order they were collected. Sneaky Stacks and Stacked Stacks are laid face-down, while Safe Stacks are face-up.
How to Play
The most flatulent player (by consensus) goes first. Here’s what you do on your turn:
Step 1: Flip over any one card in the Spread. If it’s a Turmoil card do what it says. If it’s a Giggity or Denizen leave it in place face-up (unless you can make a match with the Denizen).
Step 2: Flip over a second card. If it is a Turmoil card do what it says. If it’s a Denizen or a Giggity you have options:
Two Giggities: If both of the flipped cards are Giggities toss them both in the Keister of Gawd.
One Giggity & One Denizen: If one of the revealed cards is a Denizen that matches a Denizen in one of your Sneaky or Stacked Stacks you may snatch it up and insert it into the matching Stack. Adding a card to a Sneaky Stack makes it a Stacked Stack. Discard the Giggity into the Keister of Gawd. Adding a Card to a Stacked Stack makes it a Safe Stack. You may now flip it over. It can’t be stolen and you immediately have access to that Denizen’s Power (you can still only use one Denizen Power per turn, though).
If one of the revealed cards is a Denizen and the other is a Giggity you may snatch them both up and create a Sneaky Stack.
If one or more of the cards is a Denizen and you think you know where another player has a Stack that matches that Denizen you may try to steal the Stack from the other player. Point to the face-down stack in front of the other player and demand to see it. The player flips over the stack, revealing it to everyone. If you are correct, and the Denizen in the Stack matches the one you flipped, you Nab the Stack from the other player and add it to your Store. If you are incorrect, your turn ends immediately and you LOSE YOUR NEXT TURN. The owner of the wronged stack flips it back over and play continues.
Two Different Denizens: If both cards are Denizens who don’t match each other and you don’t know where a matching stack is, flip both cards back over and play passes to the next player. If one or more of the revealed cards is a Denizen that matches a Denizen in one of your Sneaky or Stacked Stacks you may snatch it up and insert it into the matching Stack (discarding the Giggity to make a Stacked Stack or combining three Denizens to make a Safe Stack.
Two Identical Denizens: If you flip two of the same Denizen you may combine them into a Stacked Stack and place it in your Store. If you already have a Sneaky Stack featuring the same Denizen you may discard the Giggity from the Sneaky Stack and combine the Denizen with the Stacked Stack to form a Safe Stack.
If you suspect another player has a Sneaky Stack featuring the flipped Denizen you may attempt to nab it as described in the previous section.
Step 3: Used Turmoil cards go to the Keister. Unmatched or undiscarded Giggities get flipped back over. Fill in any gaps in the Spread with face-down cards from the Heap. Once the Heap is depleted just leave the gaps empty.
Step 4: Your turn is over. Play progresses clockwise around the table unless a Turmoil card or Denizen Power indicates otherwise.
Sidenote: You may look at the Stacks in your own Store whenever you want, but if you do you must temporarily flip them over for everyone to see.
No doubt the observant among you have noticed a block of text at the bottom of each Denizen card. This describes the special power you can access once you have that Denizen in a Safe Stack (all three matching Denizen cards).
Each turn, once you’ve acquired one or more Safe Stacks, you may choose to initiate the power from ONE Denizen. You may activate the power at any point during your turn, but you can only use one Denizen Power per turn and you may not use the same Denizen Power two turns in a row (even if you only have one Safe Stack).
As soon as you get a Safe Stack you can access that Denizen’s Power (as long as it’s your turn and you haven’t already used a Denizen power that turn). Some Denizen Powers are activated by the actions of other players and can be used whether it’s your turn or not, as long as you haven’t already used one that turn (such as Squiggins Neverlost’s ability to avoid lost turns).
When you activate a Denizen Power turn the relevant Safe Stack the other way around (but still face-up) to signify its usage. Turn it back around at the start of your next turn.
Ending the Game
Once the Spread has been depleted and all the cards are either in the Stores or the Keister of Gawd, the game is over. Whoever has the most points, determined by the type and number of Stacks in each player’s Store, is the winner and gets to keep his or her job as a hapless minion of the Primordial Soup Kitchen. Everyone else gets fired or fed to something horrible.
In the event of a tie, whichever tieing player has the most Safe Stacks wins. If it’s still a tie the win goes to the player with the most Stacked Stacks, then the most Sneaky Stacks. If it’s still a tie after that the world blows up and nobody wins.
Sneaky Stack (1 Giggity & 1 Denizen): 1 Point
Stacked Stack (2 Denizens): 2 Points
Safe Stack (3 Denizens): 4 Points
Where Can I Get it?
Print Version coming soon.